While the normies were resting, I was mainlining tech discourse all weekend to bring you the latest trends, rumors, fights, and innovations from the sweatiest corners of the internet. This week: Like a toxic boyfriend, the internet wants you isolated; the White House’s meme rampage continues; and ChatGPT answers go the way of Buzzfeed headlines.
This is Manic Monday.
Break up with your girlfriend, the algo’s bored
“TikTok is training you to leave the people who love you,” according to a TikTok that’s been making the rounds on social media. The same goes for Instagram, Reddit, and all the LLMs they’ve loved before. The argument is simple: Relationship discourse on the internet hates nuance and loves instant gratification. This is why phone is truly the worst addiction. I propose we return to cigarettes, the most pro-social vice.
Wait, on second thought, no thanks.
All games are war games
The White House continued to celebrate how based it is to start wars in other countries by posting pop culture memes on X. This time, they made an innocent Mii bomb Iran. Is this all a game to them? Yes, it is.
We used to be a society — and we can be again ✨
Shannon Liao — a journalist who previously worked for the Washington Post and CNN — says — among others — that We The People — as in human beings — should — and can — take back the stylistic flourishes — all of them! — that AI stole from us — and I agree. These — among others — include:
- Em dashes
- Bullet points
- The sparkle emoji
- The name Claude
Indeed, even my editor strongly discourages us reporters from using these crutches — which they are not — because he — isn’t it always a he? — associates them with AI, but today I say, be not afraid of the flourishes — in fact, let’s overuse them — a lot. We have to fight for our right to party ✨
Is ChatGPT doing clickbait? The answer may surprise you
A developer at Cursor pointed out this morning that ChatGPT has been ending its responses with classic engagement bait like, “If you want, I can tell you the one mistake that everyone forgets.” Other commenters said they’ve noticed this too, and some conjectured the new behavior may be priming users for ads. Well, maybe this explains why all those medical questions I’ve been asking ChatGPT lately have started with “Doctors hate him!”
The week ahead: The White House posts a carousel of the flags of all the countries it plans to invade as Neopets.
